by Marily S. Gayeta
You look at yourself in the mirror and start searching for answers. And you see them staring back at you . You’re not pretty enough. Your face has no symmetry .Your eyes don’t sparkle .Your smile is dull . You look so plain and boring . Or maybe , just maybe , you're downright ugly.
Other girls in school get chocolates and cute teddy bears from blushing boys. But not you .Other girls open their bags , and giggle at the scented love notes , secretly slipped in by a young lad . But not you . All you have in your bag is a faded copy of an old fairy tale , where a damsel in distress is rescued by a knight in shining armor.
A delivery boy sometimes comes to the office with a bouquet of flowers , but it’s never for you. It’s for the girl in the other cubicle. You join the others in the teasing and light-hearted fun for that lucky girl .You cheerfully compliment the roses , but deep inside , you’ve got a question : “ When will I ever get mine ?
You pass by guys on the streets , in the halls , or between tables at Starbucks. They never notice you. Their eyes flit away from you instantly . They turn to their phones right away,or get smitten by that sexy girl at the next table. They never see you. You are invisible to them. You don’t have what it takes to be “ that ” girl . The looks , the charm , the appeal. You have none of those.
It hurts sometimes , doesn’t it ? To be a girl, to be a woman , and to be invisible to the opposite sex . You don’t really thirst for attention , but for sure , an occasional admiring look from a guy would somehow bolster your feminine ego. Who wouldn’t feel good with that ?
Other girls were given the beauty that society admires. Others , like you , are lacking in it . Other girls have the appeal that captures guys’ attention right away . But not you . They never bother to give you a second look.
Life is not fair. It never was . It never will be. Accept this fact with a bold ,open heart . Then , get on with your life.
Stop crying at night because nobody has written a love letter for you . Stop sulking in a corner because every girl in the gang has a boyfriend ,while you’re sitting alone on the bench. Stop pitying yourself because you don’t have a date on Valentine’s day . For God’s sake , girl , stop it .
But don’t give up just yet. Try to doll up , but don’t overdo it . Find out which fashion style suits you. Develop your inner beauty. Be kind. Do good things --- not for a show ---but because you mean it. Cultivate your talents. Learn how to play a musical instrument . The guitar or keyboard perhaps ? That talent would be handy in a company party . Enrich your mind. Read good books. Be aware of the world. This will prepare you for great conversations. Socialize, but don’t act like a slut. Act confidently despite your physical flaws.
And maybe , he will notice you among the vast crowd.
There are a lot of men who fall in love with character , talents and brains. And these are the men who keep lasting and profound relationships. He will fall in love with you --- not instantly --- but gradually . Your knight will find you. Maybe not in chance encounters in exotic places , but in little familiar corners where time is essential for building intimacy .
When that time comes , he will fall in love with you in a special way. No . Not like the New Year’s Eve fireworks that explode and dazzle the senses , and then vanish in thin air. His love will begin from a small spark . A very small spark that grows very slowly , until it becomes a fire that engulfs his whole heart and his whole being . His love will be like a steady flame that burns for all eternity .
Wow . That sounds so romantic .
But what if your knight does not come ?
So what , girl , so what. Nothing of what you did was in vain. The new clothes and perfume that you bought. The song that you learned how to play. The office mate that you helped. The news that you read . All of these things made you a happier and a better person. Never regret them just because you failed to catch a man.
Your happiness should not depend on whether or not there’s a guy who loves you . Don’t give a shit about what society says you must feel if you don’t have a man in your life. You can be happy even if no one holds your hand in the park. You can be whole even if no one kisses you at night and says “ Good night , babe .I love you .” .A human being doesn’t always need a romantic partner to feel fulfilled . Focus on the blessings of being single . The time . The chances . The independence. Family and friends . The full range of choices you have in your life . Freedom can be as satisfying as romantic love.
If your knight comes, well and good.
If he doesn’t, it’s okay .
You will be fine, girl . You are complete just as you are .